Crazy
by anja-chan
Summary: The four Yzak, Dearka, Athrun and Kira are at it again, this time discussing the mentally ill. One Shot. Rated for Yzak's mouth.


_Alright, this may not be as funny for people who are not or have not taken a course in Psychology, but hopefully it will still make you smile. If you guys like this, I'll consider posting my psychology test that happened to be a creative piece and naturally, (or Coordinatedly as I like to say), I was creative with Gundam Seed. However, it's full of technical terms in order to fulfill my requirements (and at least I got an A). Please enjoy!_

Crazy

"—and so then I jumped over the table and rolled right into Miriallia, who was carrying the punch bowl and it went all over the place," Dearka finished his explanation for why the Natural girl was currently mad at him. Yzak was laughing at Dearka's pathetic trials as Athrun gave him a sympathetic look. Kira was staring off into space, apparently no longer paying attention.

"I guess I feel sorry for them," he said suddenly, but compassionately.

"Them?" Athrun asked from Kira's right on the couch. Athrun and Dearka were always required to sit in the middle, between Yzak and Kira to prevent fights from breaking out. Athrun looked his other side to Dearka, his eyes full of questions that were really directed towards Kira and his possible schizophrenia. He looked back to his left, "Uh, Kira? Who are these people again?"

"Well, mentally ill people," he clarified. Athrun quirked an eyebrow at Dearka. It was almost as if Kira was reading his mind. Kind of.

Yzak, meanwhile, snorted. "Well, I don't feel sorry for _you_," he stated flatly. Dearka laughed quietly, hidden from Kira's view by Athrun.

"Telepathy and heightened spatial awareness are not illnesses," Kira replied sociably.

"Er, he probably meant a mood disorder, Kira," Athrun said carefully. When Kira was not present, the other three discussed his mood swings between angsty and saintly. Secretly, they all believed he was really bipolar.

"And we all know heightened spatial awareness isn't an illness," Dearka droled.

"But you've certainly got some kind of heightened _special_ness."

"Yzak . . ." Dearka groaned, "That was the worst joke in . . . ." He thought carefully.

"The history of jokes," Athrun finished for him.

"Shut up!"

Kira sighed. "If you ask me, I think there's only one person in this room with a mood disorder," he said, casting his eyes over Yzak's clenched fists and scowling face, his white hair emphasizing every angry shake of his head. Dearka and Athrun saw easily what Kira was innocently getting at, but kept their mouths wisely shut. Yzak however, did not.

"You bastard! I'll show you a fucking mood disorder! You'll be so depressed when I'm through with you, the only therapy you'll want is for me to tear you into little pieces!"

Kira sat patiently wearing a benign expression as Yzak leapt to his feet to get at Kira on the far side of the sofa. Kira's eyes spoke of love and forgiveness, but his mouth said something else.

"Anger management."

Dearka and Athrun burst out laughing, unable to contain themselves. After all, when Yzak was not present, the other three usually talked about his . . . issues. Secretly, they all knew parts of his prefrontal cortex were not working as fast as the rest of his brain, resulting in his explosive anger and violent behavior. Kira continued to smile calmly and serenely. Yzak began a torrent of profane curses directed at all three, but lunged at Kira first, knocking his chair over backwards. The momentum carried them almost in a full circle, but left a dazed Kira lying on top of a very angry Yzak, who was still trying to strangle him.

Dearka immediately rushed to the scene, his expression piffed. (**A/N**: a combination of the word miffed and pissed. It is very useful.)

"C'mon, Yzak, wrestle with someone who can actually take it," he said bending his knees and spreading his hands into a defensive posture.

"I'm gonna fucking take you—"

"I figured."

"—so hard you won't know which fucking way is up!" Yzak shouted, literally rising to the challenge by shoving the nearly unconscious Kira into the wall. He launched towards Dearka, who caught him in mid-air using his weight advantage to stay firmly planted to the ground. Dearka let Yzak down quickly before he could struggle and unbalance them both, only to grab him in a bear hug once Yzak's feet were on the ground.

"What the fuck, Dearka?! Let me go or I'll rip out your insides and force feed them to Zala!" Yzak cursed and squirmed, but was held firmly by the other more muscular boy.

"In that case, 'I'll never let go,' Yzak," Dearka quoted, teasing. Yzak growled swear words not quite under his breath. He twisted lithely around and out of Dearka's grip, barely missing the low coffee table by skirting around it. However, he pulled Dearka's wrist with him until Dearka's shins collided with the edge and he tumbled over the table, landing in a heap on the other side at a triumphant Yzak's feet. Athrun let out a low whistle at the surprising turn of events, as the silver-haired champion placed his booted foot on the fallen blonde's shoulder. Dearka grunted and tried to rise, but Yzak sent him promptly back down to kiss the carpet by extending his foot. He smiled down on the prostrate soldier, pleased with his victory.

"And that, Elsman, is why you never pick a fight with a superior. Or make stupid comments, although I suppose _you_ can't help that," he gloated.

Kira scrambled up from his fetal position against the wall and lurched over to Athrun. He began inspecting for bruises from his own scuffle with the pale commander, saw Dearka on the floor, and turned his gaze expectantly to Athrun.

"What?" the blue-haired boy asked, confused by Kira's look. Maybe he had been hit in the head and was suffering brain trauma.

"Aren't you going to run while you still can?" Kira asked innocently.

"Run?"

"Well," Kira began to explain in serious tones, "First, it was me, then Dearka, and now, through the process of elimination, quite literally, the only person left in the room is—"

Athrun went down like a sack of potatoes under a silver bullet shaped suspiciously a lot like Yzak Joule.

"—you," Kira finished. He looked up, then looked down, perceiving that Athrun was now on the floor.

"I'll teach you about fucking anger management!" Yzak shouted, giving Athrun a hard punch in the gut. The air flew out of his lungs with a whoosh.

"I was thinking anti-psychotic drugs," Kira mused to himself, nodding.


End file.
